Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
