I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
