i need an iv and a liver transplant
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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