a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
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I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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