she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He uses pillows to masturbate.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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