just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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