I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
