She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
