i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
