Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My liver just broke up with me...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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