My cat gives me a boner
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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