Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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