Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
