hotel room ftw
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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