Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
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