How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
