did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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