i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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