well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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