He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
