If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize