i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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