Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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