Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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