Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She bit a glass in half.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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