Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
