Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it's great music for shaving your balls
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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