Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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