Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
