How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
whose ass print is on the piano?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
