i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
