But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
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I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
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Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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