did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
