Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
