Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
