She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Terrible idea I love it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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