he thought i was a dude.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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