your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
