I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
