Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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