let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
