On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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