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Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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