the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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