This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
