My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize