Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
COCAINE IS GR8
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
