Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
