he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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