lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
