I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize