Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
