Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize