i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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