whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
