i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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