If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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