i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
