He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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