do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
