So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She even gives head with a lisp.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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