we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
time to smoke my breakfast
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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